Learning to Slow down

Well here I am after over 18 months without an entry. I just felt like tonight I needed to write about something I’m learning over the last few weeks, something that I only wish I had listened to myself 8+ months ago, something that I need in my life and my families.

And that is slowing down….. I just think about this time last year how I felt there was never a spare minute in the day; it was taken up by the PTA at school, Playgroup work, Weight Watchers meeting/work/leadership training, Children’s clubs, Ironing, Housework, Dog walking, Church calling, School runs, Swimming etc etc etc. Everyday just never stopped; everyday in and out the car running from here to there, rushing bath times and bedtimes.

That is one of the reasons that helped me make up my mind about giving up being a leader for Weight Watchers. I had all these great ideas of having loads of time on my hand, being able to do things I had wanted for a while (writing on my blog for one!!).

Did that plan happen, no, life is still as much the same, maybe not as hectic but life’s not where I thought it would be or have liked.

I look back to how life was 4 years ago when we lived in Preston and none of the kids were at school. Oh how much I lived life back then, even though there were still busy times. But how great was the time, I would just bake with the kids when they wanted, we would paint all the time, get the saucepans and utensils out and become a music band, read when ever they wanted to, go on walks to the park, meet friends, go to mother and tots groups etc. Life was just so easy.

Then we moved here and Emily went to school, life changed. I felt it was important that the kids did some kind of clubs, and before we all knew it, along came, dance, karate, rainbows and swimming. Gone went the days that I loved getting the paints out and painting not only pictures on paper but painting our arms, feet or even our hairs.

As I said, I had so many plans when I finished work, I wanted to start scrap booking again, sort out the cupboards, walk Ollie loads, exercise, get back on track with my weight, update photos around the house, update our blog etc. But things just always seem to get in the way.

I have tried so hard to really think lately about all those things I was looking forward in doing and decided to take a step back in some of the things that I do. I finally after 20 months of being treasurer at Ethan’s old playgroup took the decision to stand down (I’ve been on the committee 2 ½ years). I have spent some much time there (on average 1 ½ days+ a week). I have been really pleased of myself for doing this and I finally finish at the end of next month. For those that know me though, know that this was such a hard decision for me, not that I want to still be their treasurer but that they keep on asking me to stay on, that they need me – normally I would say yes, because that’s what I do, say YES to anything I’m asked to do. It was so hard but I did say NO and it felt so good. I just kept thinking of all the things I want to do, to catch up on. And keeping that in mind, its helped me say no to a few things this last few weeks – to two job offers (one a the kids school and one at the local playgroup), having a bigger rule with the PTA and spending another afternoon at school. Do you know what? It feels good to say no sometimes!!!

I have been reading a book from my friend Jen (slow reading it!!!!) called ‘Not So Fast’ by Ann Kroeker. It has just been what I have needed lately to really try living at a slower pace. It has also made me think of not only slowing my life down but that of the kids. They just always seem tired and I have finally figured out why…… It’s their busy lives. Emily for example on top of her school hours, has been doing; tag rugby, netball, brownies, swimming, then her homework and reading, fitting in bath times and leisure time. No wonder my little 7 year old is tired. In this book, Ann Kroeker talks about what our busy schedules are not only doing to us, but our kids, that as parents we feel it’s important to full our children’s lives with clubs. She asks, ‘What are we doing it for? us or them’. She quotes a letter given to incoming freshmen attending Harvard, encouraging them to take leisure time rather than packing their schedules with so many activities that they have no time to think. This section called ‘Slowing Down Childhood’ has really helped me, so when it came round to signing up for clubs again this month at school, I didn’t give Emily a helping hand in her decision on signing up for tag rugby and netball. If I’m honest, I forced her hand big time last term to join these clubs. All she wants to do is come home and draw, play, go to the park, cook, paint etc. not being rushed from here to there.

Let us slow down, lets us give our kids a childhood that they will enjoy. Let me go back to not stressing when they want to make a tent in the bedroom, when they want to paint, when they want to get out every my little pet shop animal lining them up around their room. Let me not think of the mess they are making but of the fun they are having. Let me have time to enjoy their childhood and say no more often so I have time to enjoy their childhood. Let me remember how great it was to have been given them in my life, to laugh with them, to play with them, to cry with them, to love them and enjoy them.

I know I still have a long way to go, even tonight I told Emily I hadn’t got time to read her a chapter of James and the Giant Peach which we are reading together, no real reason, just no time ( I did have time, I just wanted her in bed). So as I said, I know I still have a long way to go to get that slower pace of life, to go back to being a calmer mother.